Reticulan in the Graveyard
by SpkyG
Summary: Bones/X-files Crossover. B&B investigate skeletal remains with an elongated skull and small stature. The X-file division loans it's expertise. I think that it would be highly amusing watching the teams interact.
1. Chapter 1

**First time ever reading or writing cross overs as I always found them a little ridiculous. This is me eating my thoughts. Hopefully all characters are in character, and it's not too corny. I am a massively huge X-files fan and am excitedly awaiting the movie next month! It's been on my mind, so this is what happens.**

**Disclaimer: No Bones or X-files Characters belong to me**

Booth was mulling over the new casefile he'd been given. It had been passed up to him because it was skeletal remains. He couldn't remember the last time he'd been given a case that wasn't. No experts had been on site yet, but it was difficult to determine what species the skeletal remains belonged to. Those who had stumbled upon it in the woods had said it's head was slightly elongated and that it looked to be of a small stature. Him and Bones were going to investigate within the hour. She was meeting him here, right about now actually. Booth looked up from the casefile on a to see his partner walk through the door.

"Speak of the devil."

"No-ones speaking, and the devil is a fictitious character making it wholey a waste of time to discuss it." Brennan went to sit in the chair across from Booth's desk.

"Holy a waste of time..speaking of the devil,get it?" Booth gave a very large childlike grin to Bones who raised an eyebrow.

"The devil isn't Holy Booth."

"No but..." Booth heaved a sigh and muttered to himself that she couldn't just let him have it "Never Mind" Brennan was about to question what he had mumbled when a knock sounded on Booth's door and two agents entered.

"Agent Booth, I don't believe we've officially met. I'm special agent Fox Mulder with the X-files and this is my partner Special Agent Dana Scully.

"Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, this is my partner Dr Temperance Brennan with the Jeffersonian Institute. What can I do for you" Booth leaned forward putting his elbows on his desk and lowered the volume of his voice. "Spooky?"

"Agent Booth," The other agent jumped in "It is hardly necessary or professional, I might add, to address a fellow agent with so little respect to their proper title" Brennan responded before Booth had the chance.

"Booth responded thus as a means to intimidate those who he feels threatened by. He assigns everone a nickname in an attempt to make himself feel more important and..." Booth made a coughing sound to interrupt Brennan. Mulder stood there with smart ass smirk while Scully half glared at the other occupants of the room.

"Spooky is as Spooky does." Mulder retorted in a slightly more spooky voice than necessary.

"I don't know what the means." Brennan input.

"It MEANS Bones, that Agent Mulder and Scully here work on the X-files."

"So they said, What is the X-files, I've never heard of that division." Brennan questioned with a curious note to her voice.

"Not many have Dr Brennan. It's where all the "Unexplained" cases within the bureau are dumped when people are either too close minded or too inadequate to solve them. Scully and I have an above average solve rate. The only reason that it doesn't stand at 100 is that many of our cases are difficult to categorize, although the offense is commonly discontinued."

"Bones and I have a 93 solve rate, and that is the bureau's accepted percent." Booth said while looking at Mulder, rising to the challenge that was obvious in Mulder's voice.

"It's hardly a pissing contest Mulder." Scully turned to him and glared before turning back to the forensic investigator and her partner.

"Why is it called the X-files?" Brennan questioned looking to Mulder. Booth wondered how she managed to ignore the majority of the conversation. This other agent was pissing him off. He needed to get a cocky belt of his own.

"Because the U-files doesn't sound as good." Mulder deadpanned sarcastically before continuing. "They were initially filed under U, but there were so many of them that they had to start filing them under X which had very few files of it's own to fill the drawer."

"Not many cases involving Xylophones or Xena I guess." Booth joked, to no ones apparent amusement.

"Anyways," Scully continued, looking at Booth as if she thought he was the biggest idiot she'd met. "We were hoping to lend our expertise to the case that you are currently investigating."

Booth looked at the two agents, the question obvious in his gaze.

"Elongated Head, small stature...we would like to see how the investigation pans out." Mulder replied to the unspoken question.

"No Way Spooky." Booth said shaking his head. "You are not going to hinder and decrease the validity of my investigation to chase your little green men."

"Grey" Mulder and scully responded at the same time.

"What? Grey What?" To everyone's surprise Brennan finished the sentence.

"Men Booth. Althought that's a slightly sexist term. Reticulans are usually reported to be grey, not green and they have elongated frontal, occipital and temperal lobes with a generally smaller skeletal structure in proportion to their head compared to Homo Sapian Sapians." When everone in the room just continued to stare at her, a smile appearing on Mulder's face, Brennan continued with her defensive sounding comment, directed at Booth.

"I read a lot and the likelihood that we are the only beings in the universe is very egotistical. Anthropologically speaking there is a lot of evidence in past cultures that might point to the interference of extraterrestrial beings. I'm not saying I'm confident that advanced lifeforms exist or that UFO's occupy the skies watching earth's inhabitants, as many ufo extremists believe, but extraterrestrial life is a scientific plausibility in whatever form it may take, comparable or not to that of life on Earth" Booth sighed and sat back, taking in Brennan's argument.

"Looks like you've found a kindred spirit Mulder." Scully spoke, and from her monotone it was difficult to determine the nature of the comment.

"UFO Extremists, I'm used to paranoid and delusional." Mulder responded, wide eyes turning to look from Brennan to Scully.

"Whatever Spooky, but you mess with my investigation or it's integrity and I will have you pulled off the case and reprimanded before you can say Repticulan."

"Reticulan" Brennan repeated. "Ruh, Tick, You, Lyn." She pronounciated in a very demeaning tone.

All stood silently for a moment before Booth got up, grabbing his jacket and walking out the door.

"This is going to be a long week."

**Author's Notes : Please review if you would like me to continue this story. I am not completely secure in how I pulled off Mulder and Scully as I've never tried, and havent watched too much X-files lately. I do have another story on the go, so let me know if it's not worth my time. **


	2. Chapter 2

The car ride had been mostly silent with Mulder and Scully in the back and Booth and Brennan up front. None of the agents seemed to know what to say to eachother. Arriving at the crime scene, all piled out of the car and headed towards the officer approaching them.

Booth took the lead, shaking the officers hand and introducing everybody.

"Officer McDonal, this is my partner Doctor Temperance Brennan, and special agents Fox Mulder and Dana Scully."

"So E.T's this way?" Booth pointed to the crimescene, approached and held the crime scene tape for the others.

"Your Condescending tone is refreshing Agent Booth. Really, I mean that sincerely."

"And hopefully not warranted Mulder. This better not turn out to be an orangutang Mulder. Skinner will kill us."

"Scully, you wound me." Mulder clutched his chest.

Both teams reached the remains with Mulder jogging to get there slightly before the rest. He bent down to examine the remains. Brennans eyes grew wide as she caught up to him and saw what he was doing.

"What do you think you're doing?" Brennan fumed at Mulder.

"I'm examining the remains, looking for..."

"You're contaminating my remains." Brennan deposited herself between Mulder and the remains and hunched down to squint. Booth stood back with his notepad smirking.

"Touchy" Mulder mumbled to Scully.

"So much for your kindred spirit." Scully only half whispered back. Brennan was to absorbed with the remains to notice the banter.

"Female, age 12. I'd say the remains have been here for a while, a spring burial perhaps. Not much insect activity at this point, but we will need samples of the soil surrounding the remains. Trauma is apparent on the parietal in a shatter pattern. The form of the skull could be due to genetic disease."

"So she's human then?"

"This skeleton is identical to a human skeleton congruent with a 12 year old girl. I have never examined extraterrestrial remains agent mulder, but unless they are an exact replica of human remains, this girl was human."

"Lets get this all packed up and back to the Jeffersonian." Booth called out to the forensic teams around him. He began ushering the other agents away.

"I'm not letting that body out of my sight, I'd like to ride with forensics." Mulder stated looking at Booth.

"Suit yourself spooky, have a good ride." He started pushing Bones back towards the car and she glared at him.

"Mulder don't you think your being a little excessive? The skeleton is human. There is a mystery here to be solved, but it's not an X-file." Scully tried to reason with him.

"So the good Doctor says." Mulder stated, implying a falseness to Brennan's finding.

"I may not be a skeletal expert Mulder, but even I can tell that is a very terrestrial being who had some very terrestrial things done to it." Mulder looked between the waiting agents and doctors and the remains behind him and swallowed his misgivings, heading towards the car.

After another silent car ride, the 4 entered the Jeffersonian.

"You're only here to ensure yourself that the body arrived safely. Then you'll go rant your theories elsewhere right?" Booth questioned Mulder hopefully.

"I intend to stay on for the remainder of the case to see where this goes. There are many other possibities to explain the condition of the skeleton whether paranormal or of the occult."

"The occult? Mulder, chances are that this child had a case of Non-Syndromic craniosynostosis, the correct form of which can cause an elongated skull. Genetic tests could verify, but there is no evidence that this is some el chupacabre relative or new age peruvian." Scully responded quickly.

"I would agree, although ancient skull elongation has been found all over the world and is not limited peru. There is also no evidence of trepination on the skull, although reconstruction could turn up evidence." Brennan replied, impressed with Dr Scully's knowledge of the disease. The two continued conversing.

"How long does a reconstruction take Dr Brennan?"

"Since the face can be reconstructed, our facial reconstruction artist will have the chance to determine identity before the rest of the skull is reconstructed. Both should be completed by tomorrow afternoon at the latest, as it is now late afternoon. We'll make sure that you remain informed." Brennan ensured the other agents, looking pointedly at Booth.

Hodgins and Angela entered the lounge at this point, curious who Booth and Brennan had brought to the lab. Hodgins could barely contain his excitement when he recognized the male agent.

"Agent Fox Mulder!" He walked up shaking the mans hand. "You must be Dr Dana Scully."

"Do I know you?" Scully raised an eyebrow.

Hodgins waved it off with a hand.

"I've read several of Agent Mulder's articles and seen a few of his TV debuts."

"You would" Snorted Booth.

"Dude, just cause you choose to trust the government doesn't mean that the rest of us need to fall into that same deluded trap."

"Hey, I am the government, and so is he, and you're calling me deluded Bug Boy? Why don't you go find a conspiracy in the cafeteria." Booth responded defensively. Angela cut in shaking hands.

"I'm Angela, and this is Hodgins, my not so better half at the moment." She directed a warning look in his direction.

"Enough chit chat." Booth started rudely. "They," he pointed at the two agents "are not staying." and "We" He pointed at Hodgins "Are no longer having this conversation. Don't you all have work to do?"

"The evidence isn't unloaded yet so I'm free as a bird." Hodgins smirked at Booth.

"Well, Go spread your wings somewhere else tweety and stop irritating the government."

Hodgins shook his head a bit and stalked off.

"Come on Scully. I think we've been subtley asked to leave. We'll be by tomorrow" Mulder put his hand on her lower back to lead her out.

"Can't Wait." Booth mumbled only half under his breath.

"Well that wasn't rude." Angela looked at Booth, then at the retreating FBI agents.

"What? The guys a crackpot." He looked around for support.

"Fine. I'll play nice. Starting tomorrow." Brennan watched Booth go with a frown on her face.

"Usually I'm the one with bad people skills." She said to Angela.

"There is another male on Booth's turf." Angela watched him leave as well.

"Rudeness is Booth's alpha male way of stating his dominance and keeping his territory." Brennan Nodded as she said it.

"Rude, like he is when he's threatened by other men in your life?" Angela smirked.

"Booth may be rude to the men I date, but I am not Booth's territory Angela."

Angela just smiled and walked towards her office. Brennan stood alone a minute before heading back to her office, wondering how Angela did that.


End file.
